Now I am scared.

I have never been scared of things like getting raped, robbed, stabbed, shot etc. Until about today. 

I have tried to understand why this guy in Norway killed all of those people and I can't. I have no understanding for his actions at all. I read a book recently that is called 19 minutes and it was about a school shooting in the U.S. and when I finished the book I didn't think what the guy did was right in anyway but I understood that he wanted all the bullying to stop and he saw no other way. THIS I don't understand at all. Does anyone?

I am seriously upset about what have happened to all those people and I feel for their families and friends. Apparently 9393 people in Sweden will be killed by his terrorist-friends. How am I supposed to walk around now and not be scared?! I have looked at so many people today thinking: Are you planning an attack? Have I ever said something that might have pissed you off and I am on the list of the 9393 you are going to kill? It doesn't seem to matter where you are either, nowhere is safe. Not the capital, not a tiny little island in the middle of a lake. As late as Saturday I told Jamie that I want to walk home on my own at night because I want to live without being scared of something horrible happening to me. Now I am scared of sitting in the office, walking to the station, walking from the station, being in a shopping mall. I am even scared of having my own opinion, because some Swedish nazi might disagree and come and shoot me. 

I know when time has passed I will feel better and not be so paranoid because I wasn't there and it is not as real for me as it was for the people in Norway, but those people will probably always be scared. And that makes me even more mad. Because what happens when he has served 14 years in prison (which I heard is the longest he can get, is that really true?!)? Will he do it all over again? Or will his so called friends have finished the job by then?

It's surreal.

Life

Long time ago - I know. But I haven't really felt like sitting down to write when it has been lovely weather outside! Not too much has happened recently really, apart from that my friend Vicky came to visit this weekend! Was lovely to see her and to have some company when Jamie is away.

Life is good now though. It's summer, work is going well, Jamie is soon going to be home a bit more (I hope!) and Stew and Liz are coming next week. I also have a lot more energy nowadays which is good, I don't fall asleep at 9pm everyday! I think it's partly because I don't have to drive to work and partly because I'm doing more excercise. I don't go to the gym that much more but a lot of running up and down stairs at home and at work!

Well, that's about it! Good night.


All those weird facebook statuses....

We all love Facebook. Right? And almost all of us update our status daily. I do it often, mainly about the weather as I don't have many other things to say. But some things I don't understand:

1. Why write all the time that you love your child? They can't read and don't have facebook. And everyone ele would think it was weird if you didn't love your child - I don't exactly think that the people that don't write it hate their children.
2. Why describe your friends with bestest/loveliest/cutest etc all the time? Have adjectives had a new turn in life?

Facebook status is weird. I have no idea why I do it, I just do. Well, sometimes it provokes certain things and that's fun. But there is no actual reason for it. Anyone? I mean, who cares about if I have -2 degrees, if there is a disgusting man on the train or if I am tired? No one. But sometimes it's good, you know, if you get a new job you can share your joy quickly rather than calling 20 people. Actually, I don't even have 20 numbers in my phone book when I think about it. If we don't count the numbers for the beauty salon or pizzeria and I don't think they care. I still want to update it. Strange, isn't it?

Now you let the world know as soon as you find out if you are pregnant, getting married, got a new job etc. Before it used to be special ones you told. I somehow don't feel as special anymore.

But we all know what I will do now. Update my status that my blog has been updated.

http://www.aftonbladet.se/ipadoriginal/article12798223.ab

Ok, any English speaking person won't understand what this is about. So a short explanation. A fat bullied child in the US stood up and threw the bully to the ground. The person who has written the blog thinks it was wrong and think that people that think he did the right thing are wrong. A lot of thinking involved there. The woman must have been popular in school and never bullied.

I am apparently wrong, because I support Casey. I'm sure this had a lot more effect than it would ever have to talk to a teacher, because a lot of teachers look the other way when they see this kind of stuff. You shouldn't have to deal with this shit every day and I am happy he stood up for himself. I hope this might encourage other bullied kids or adults to do the same thing. Well, maybe not lift them up and throw them on the ground, but do something.

Go bullied kids, go! I'm right behind you.

Stureplan

I don't get it. And for all English people, Stureplan is where all the posh bars are in Stockholm. Where you pay 150kr for a glass of wine. Where people drink champagne straight out of a bottle.

I went there a few weeks ago with two other girls and we were on the VIP list (that was quite exciting, I've never been VIP ever before). Anyhow, in the normal part of the club/bar, there was about 10 people. In the VIP part there were at least 100. I'm sure half of them drank champagne out of the bottle. I paid 250kr for 2 glasses of wine and a beer. A joke. But what's the point with VIP if everyone is VIP? Doesn't it loose it's charm then?

And last night we went there again. Sure, it was like 2.30am and not really any point in paying 150kr to get in, but I was happy to do that to get into a warm place, because my toes were freezing. We were at the front of the queue for maybe 30 mins before the bouncer said: You won't get in, it's too full. Or something like that. Thanks, couldn't you have told us that when we got there? Also, the guy at the door kept saying to people that it was not exit where he stood and everyone ignored him in a very: I have money I can exit where I want -kind of style. Pissed me right off.

To get to the point, I don't like the posh places. It might be because I'm from the countryside, it might be because I'm too poor to wear Gucci, Dolce or whatever they wear there or maybe because I don't like champagne. I will not hang there very often. I am very happy I have found a place near our new flat that serves beer for 30kr/pint.


A crazy Friday night....

Went to IKEA with Maria after work, bought little things like towels (for when we move) and hangers (so all my things in Ida's wardrobe don't have to use the same hanger). Exciting. And I was supposed to go out for a drink with Mattias, but I wanted to wait until my exam results were revealed on the web (I passed btw) and I got so tired when I sat down that I couldn't be bothered to get up again. As I'm going out tomorrow night I think a night in tonight is needed.

Feeling a little bit down today... Got offered a job I wanted (happy) and passed my exam (happy). Just sometimes wish that certain other people could be happy and enthusiastic about things I do well sometimes too. Oh well, I'm a grown up, I shouldn't need any other confirmation! So there we go.

Have a nice weekend everyone!

Annoying on the tube.

Some things are really annoying on the tube. Such as:

- Someone sits down on the outside seat and then doesn't move at all when you try to squeeze into the other seat.
- People that rather stand up than sit next to a stranger
- People who talk really loudly (to make sure everyone can hear) about some story from the weekend etc.
- People who do dusgusting things (biting their nails, picking their noses, coughing without covering with sleeve/hand etc).
- Old women that huffs and puffs as soon as someone else on the tube opens their mouth to speak
- The way the driver says 15 times on the same trip: Se upp for dorrarna, dorrarna stangs. (Watch out for the doors, the doors are closing).
- People that glance at your phone when you're texting or emailing. Rude.
- Dogs. Why take dogs?! It even says on a sign: NO DOGS!

Weekend was too short

I always think that weekends feel so short, but it was even worse this weekend. Considering I haven't seen Jamie for 4 weeks and spend 48 hours together for another 5 weeks. Too short. But, I try to stay positive and think: it's not that long left now! It works. For about 10 seconds. Have booked flights to go to England at Easter anyway now, something to look forward to!

Anyhow, I had a job interview today which went well. And when I got back to work after the interview, I get a call from someone telling me that I got the job from the other interview I went to last week. I'm just too popular. However, the job today seems more interesting than the one last week so I told them I'll await and see what happens. Both companies are on the Fortune 100 list on NYSE though, so massive companies.

I am dreading next week a bit... Ida goes away on Thursday and is away 1,5 weeks. Which means I am all on my own. Lonely, I am so lonely....... Think that will be a good time to spend 2 hours at the gym every evening. I don't believe myself for a second that will actually happen, but it's a good intention anyway.

Moving 1st May.

FINALLY! Got confirmation today that we got the flat we chose, a 1 bedroom flat at Medborgarplatsen, reeeeally nice! Such a relieve! Can't wait to move in. And can't wait for Jamie to move here!

Had an interview this morning which went OK I think, but not sure the position is right for me. It's with the purchase ledger team, which I have almost no experience in. We'll see! Have another interview on Monday for a job I think would be excellent though...! They wanted to see me on Friday but doesn't really work out as I have to get the bus to the airport early and have to work in the morning. So Monday it is! Quite good, means I can get my suit at the weekend as well!

Will be very nice to see everyone this weekend. Well you know, not everyone, but a lot of friends and Jamie's family.

Ohhh I'm so happy. I might go and do a little happy dance now. And you guess right - you don't want to see me doing a happy dance. Adios amigos!

Flats

Oh.... Until today it has been impossible to find 1 flat to consider to move into. Tonight I viewed two really nice ones and I have left it to Jamie with my pros and cons to decide which one we should take. I have my favourite, but it's soooo difficult to make a decision on my own. It's like when I order food. I have two options ready and when the waiter/waitress asks for my order I tell them whichever pops into my head first. So maybe when I call the estate agent tomorrow I should go with the same principle?!

Need to prepare for my interview now and then get some sleep. It's tiring to view flats.

This year's......

The 2010 list is here! Enjoy.

This year's discovery:
 The Corsa is an awesome car to drive in snow. Who would have thought?!

This year's mistake: Drink Fishermans-friends-shots at Eva's party. Oh dear.

This year's comment:
"I'm getting some leathers made from kangaroo. What...? Kangaroo...? Is it just from the paws? - Greg explaining his new motorbike leathers, Chloe confused where the leather comes from.

This year's song:
Radioactive - Kings of Leon

This year's group:
 Stereophonics. Because the gig was really good.

This year's expression: "With milk?" - Me. Only because I can't pronunce milk properly.

This year's most talked about: Tiger Woods. Not in a good way.

This year's party: Hmm... The xmas do with work was pretty good.

This year's idiot:
Customers who can't make a bank transfer. It has taken them 4 months to do it, and it is not an excuse, they can't work out how to do it.

This year's most wonderful person: Apart from Jamie, my mum. She is awesome in every way.

This year's sweeties: Rachel & Ian. Work would be soooo boring without you two.

This year's Mr Nice Bum: No one really stands out. But Tomas has a pretty nice tushie.

This year's biggest moaner: Honestly, every fat person who moans about being fat but not doing anything about it. This is not being a fat-ist. It just annoys me. It's not that difficult.

This year's disappointment: My targets at work. Certainly wasn't a fun year being a credit controller in the UK!

This year's look-alike:
Jenny's son and xfactor - Aiden. They look spot on like each other! 

This year's christmas present:
Sheep skin slippers. They are lovely and warm.

This year's couple:
Dan & Chloe. Such a nice couple and seems so loved up every time I see them!

This year's people-I-can-live-without: Moaners. Again.

This year's I-think-I-know-more-than-I-actually-do: I think my sister Maria has taught her boyfriend Anders pretty well. Well done Anders for moving my close family off this spot!

I know, I'm useless.

Everyday when I drive to and from work I come up with good subject to blog about, but they disappear by the time I get to the computer! Useless, I know.

So, what's new? I had my exam a week ago when we were on holiday in Cornwall, both holiday and exam went better than expected...! Don't you just hate it though, when you read a question and think: Ah, I definitely know that! and the answer you had in mind wasn't an option? Pisses me right off!

Oh yeah, yesterday when I drove to work, there was a cycling race at 7.30 on a dual carriage way. Who on earth thinks that's a good idea?! Blocks the whole road at rush hour! Makes no sense.

Jamie has been in Germany since Tuesday, he should be home any minute now. Have missed him lots! And it's really scary to be on my own in the house.... Plus, I was going to sit outside and have a beer tonight and I came outside and there is a dead baby bird there. Covered in like... flem. Disgusting! So I need my man to remove it (knowing him though, he will probably refuse and I'll end up doing it. I mean, he's scared of spiders).

Have a fun-day with work tomorrow, quite looking forward to it! Hmm... Should find out how to get there maybe. Will try to update sooner!


Run run run

Have started running, going quite well actually. Did 7km today! Feeling a bit tired now though.

Work is really busy at the moment, which is nice, but I'm sooo tired in the evenings. Still, manage to stay awake until after 10 :P

Had my first ice cream of the year today as well! Summer is definitely on the way.

Really, what's the point?

I could never be a good psychiatrist. I am fed up listening to people moaning all the time and never do anything about it. Just stop it! Or at least stop talking to me. Really, if things are so bad, quit your job, break up with your boyfriend, start excercising and go on a diet.

Also, what's the deal with asking me for advise constantly, and then never listen to a word I say?! Do I have such bad advise that everyone just asks me so you can go the opposite way?

I don't understand people. And I'm tired.

Sweden

Went to Sweden over the weekend, going home tonight. My grandma hasn´t been well so wanted to see her ( in her own words, for the last time) She´s begging to the man in the sky and the man far underneath that they will end it for her. Healthy?!

Has been nice to be here though, met up with my old friend Sofie yesterday, whom I haven´t seen for hald a decade (almost). Gosh, we´re getting so old...!  Now I need to go to the shop and stock up on sweets. Actually, I´m only getting them for Kaisa and Ida, not myself. Probably just as well, I need to start running again before I can eat more sweets :P If my neck and back will ever get better I´m back out there!

Anyway, have a good day.

I'm back!

Finally got internet again! Wooooho!


Cancer

Someone I know, his wife has had cancer for the last year or so, and she passed away this morning. I've never even met her, but I can't stop crying. I just feel so sad, for him, their kids.... I can't imagine even imagine what the pain must feel like.

There isn't really any words. I'm just so sorry.



Almost moving day!

I had a bit of a moment yesterday. I went a bit mad. Kind of crazy actually. The thing is, I've done almost all packing by myself because Jamie has worked late etc, and I don't really mind because I find it quite calming to wrap glasses in bubblewrap etc... But yesterday I just snapped. Jamie was on his way home and said: I'm in Crawley, won't be long. And I'm going to play cricket at 1.30. And I knew he was going, but for some reason I went absolutely mad and when he got home, I got into the car to go and get some more boxes and I had a go at him and started to cry, a lot. I think moving gets on my nerves. Because I wasn't actually angry, just lost it. So Jamie, I'm sorry! Didn't mean to. Think I'm a bit nervous as well, starting a new job on Monday, at the same company, but I'm moving to the UK team instead of the Northern team.

Something makes me wonder... I have a couple of friends on facebook, whom I've known since I was little so I don't really want to remove them, but EVERY day they write on their status
1)How much person no 1 loves her boyfriend (this is also written about 5 times a day).
2)How much person no2 loves her family.

Now, for me it's kind of an obvious thing, I don't need to tell the world that I love my boyfriend and family, they can draw that assumption themselves I think. What is the point in writing it like... all the time? I'm seriously thinking about removing them, even though they are old friends.

Ohhh but the worst one is one guy.... He writes like: Gym, studying, run, working, gym, football training. And at the end of every week he changes it to: 11 gym sessions, 60hrs work, lots of studying, 2500 situps and 4 runs.
I'm not a personal trainer in any way, but that's not healthy. And also, there is not enough time in the world to do all of this unless you never sleep?! I think it's a bit of bullshit. I told him once that he was a bit sad, and he got so defensive that it made me think that it was made up!

Do I pay too much attention to these things? I'm probably just as weird as they are, as I'm writing about it! Does anyone else have the same annoying things? Or this proves that I look at facebook too much....

Moving, exams etc...

I know, I know, I know... I have been utterly useless at writing so far this year. But, I've been busy. I've been snowed in, I've walked 3 miles in the snow to get to work, I've studied and I've been househunting. Quite stressful start to the year (not really, but it sounds better...)

So... Got my exam tomorrow, have got a headache and I think that's due to too much studying. I really think I'll pass, and I'm still nervous?! Why?!

Found a house as well, moving 4/2 if the estate agent can confirm sometime. Really looking forward to it! Have packed little things like DVD's, CD's, things in drawers, books etc.... So, I've filled the only 3 boxes I had :p

Looking forward to Kaisa coming back to work next week, then the boys can start picking on her again. They've been calling me fat all week. Mean people! Will still miss Mattias a lot when he leaves. Bastard.

Oh well, break is over, back to studying! Wiiihooo.....

This year's......

Yes, I know you have all waited for this moment. It's time for my yearly list!

This year's discovery: Don't drive home from work on May Bank holiday. It took 2,5 hours!

This year's mistake: Jamie applying for World Cup tickets and got 12, and didn't actually want to go!

This year's comment: "I don't know how to do this". Someone at work says it a lot:P

This year's song: You know me - Robbie Williams. I'm so glad he's back!

This year's group: Black Eyed Peas. They done some brilliant songs this year.

This year's expression: Jag ska konfirmera dig. - Kaisa Jokelainen.

This year's most talked about: Cheryl Cole's dresses. Seriously, she needs a new stylist.

This year's party: Not really a party, but when we went out for Sweden-Denmark 6/6. That was a great night out!

This year's idiot: The person who never knows what's appropriate to talk about.

This year's most wonderful person: Jamie, as always!

This year's sweeties: Matilda and Oscar. They are still my favourites!

This year's Mr Nice Bum: One of Darren's friends... He was a soldier and was ripped!

This year's biggest moaner: Everyone who lives in England and NEVER say a good word about the country. Move home to where you're from!!

This year's disappointment: Sweden not making it to the World Cup.

This year's look-alike: Christopher and Nordman.

This year's christmas present:
MacGyver DVD set. I'm back to being 6 years old!

This year's couple:
Marina and Kim. I don't really know them anymore, but went to school with them, and the only way I know what's going on is by having Marina on facebook and reading her blog. But they've been together for something like....7 years? (Marina is my age btw) and they've now got a baby girl. It just makes me happy to see that couples like that exists!

This year's people-I-can-live-without: Moaners.

This year's I-think-I-know-more-than-I-actually-do: I'm taking my dad off this year, and put on my sister Maria. She's been taught well by him!

This year's has something going on: Cheryl Cole and Lloyd Daniels. Made me cringe every time I heard her say how good looking he was. He was 16!!!

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